Been a long time...

It's been over a decade and woo, things are good yet they never do change do they? I'm writing this as a bit of a vent today. Venting about how the world works and how we have to realize what is right and wrong in our worlds. I worked at a club, one I deeply like but felt very stuck in patterns and it's grown boring. It's likely me as the issue more than anything. Let me explain: First, I was hosting there for over a year, the invitation to be a host was unexpected and pleasant. I enjoyed it very much from the get go and for a while, it was a BLAST hosting with a great DJ. Yet, you know over time, things change. I would talk to the DJ about themes for a set and they never gave me a lot of feedback, they were very vibe based and went with whatever the mood was of the group. Which, is great yet, they had their own thoughts and we fell into patterns, the same artists, the same tracks came up. The fans? They loved her, and we enjoyed some great popularity. I didn't feel good about it after a while, told my DJ that the mood seemed off but they shrugged it off. My partner went from loving the sets to finding them boring, and they did get boring at times, I could be a hype machine for 30 or 40 minutes but as hour two started? Bleh. I wanted to leave, it got slow and tiring. Second, well, I already started, the music went from fun and up to bluesy and more introspective, dark at times and emotional. Good music for sure and the audience may have enjoyed it but part of it was this DJ being a celeb and they wanted to pay their respects to that DJ as much as anything. We all know DJ's that people like and hang with mostly to just, be in the room with them. When Trump got elected, hoo boy, shit went down. It's the holidays and all, the music went from hopeful and decent to bluesy, darker, introspective and emo. I would suggest things and my DJ would sometimes follow it, sometimes not. I tried suggesting themes and she would take some suggestions but also kind of....shimmy away from em. The straw that broke it for me was her no longer being on consistently. For the last 3 months, I think, don't quote me, she simply wasn't my DJ. I hosted with at least 4 DJ's during her time slot and I believe 1 or 2 times we simply shut down the club instead of go on. It may have been a miscommunication but one time, I felt like it was dumped on me, last minute to find a DJ for the set with a few hours to spare, and yes, I found one, who was suggested to me by the owner and that DJ was TERRIBLE. When a DJ doesn't know how to switch audio streams? Color me suspicious, the song selection was attrocious too and the crowd was not loving it. I felt like the last few months were odd, random, not right. When my DJ returned and played, she was last minute, no plan, telling me she's frazzled. Where's the fun in that? I would be relentlessly positive: "You got this! I know you'll slay tonight!!" and positive comments during the set and after. She would thank me and log 1 min after the set. It felt so much like work and my parnter would look at me, and shrug, she'd long turned off the music of the sets because the mood was so sleepy but she supported me and when I said "I think I'm done" she agreed, it was time, the club was no longer as fun, it felt like things are on repeat and stuck. I needed out. Wrote my DJ a note, being as nice as I could telling them the joy of hosting had gone for me and I was hanging up my host duties. For now, I need to be unemployed. My DJ sent a nice short note back and hugs. it's odd, I needed to do this, the thought of going into monday night, not knowing if my DJ would be on or a fill in or who knows? Too much stress. And then my DJ is on and is frazzled? MORE stress. I love that person to bits and realize, they are wonderful and likely have things going on which make it difficult but I couldn't always be there to handle the randomness they create. Ah well, life goes on.

I always wondered...

Have you ever wondered what kind of life other people in SL must lead? It seems impossible to exist in SL without wondering this exact point at times. Where are they in the world, what do they do, are they young or old, is their life like mine or so very different? The questions go on and on. Really, all we can go by is what they share and when they are online. I have a great friend who is from Norway and I get glimpses of her life and she's really been amazing - usually online at times which are not exactly daylight for her but she's on and we chat often. The bits of her life she has shared help paint a picture of the person I know through her avatar and it's been a wonderful experience that makes SL magical. Privacy is one thing I've always respected with people. I rarely ask people personal questions, my one that I will ask is 'what time zone are you in?' because of the global nature of SL, it can be very hard to connect with people who live far away and interaction is limited. Not impossible, just hard. The underlying thoughts I have are around the life people live. How similar or different is it from mine. That always is a crazy mystery to me. So many people have different views on things and I love that story in their life and if they share it, it's very eye opening both in good and bad ways. It makes me wonder - do others think about other people they know in SL and what that RL person is going through, what they are doing and how much will I ever know? I've never pushed someone to tell me details about themselves, usually it's volunteered as a friendship builds. Yet, there are some folks that I would like to know more about but my quiet respect never wants to push them. I wonder if others do the same thing?